Who's Objectifying Who?

This is another response to a woman I'll call UB from another forum. Since it's in the spirit of the blog, here's more fuel for the fire.

UB: Objectifying men is the new trend.


LL:
Well, it's not like that hasn't been going on for ages. The actual new trend is men are increasing becoming the gatekeepers, the cautious sex. Hence the need for women to develop a "seduction plan", as you put it.


Unfortunately, it seems that there's a lot of women that want men to work at "romance" and seduction, and put less effort into it. It's been a while since I had a woman earnestly enter the stages of seduction, whether its to finalize intercourse or not. It's not that there are an absence of women in my life; usually those going after me are single moms (which is a BIG no-no) or drunken party girls that go from A to Z without much fanfare. No one seems creative anymore, or employ alcohol for the purpose of letting go.

It seems to be a lost art on them, or they just don't care about it as much as fulfilling their own needs, perhaps? So many women have complained about being objectified sexually, and yet there are several that have no problems with utilizing their sexual powers in order to use men to obtain their wants. Men, in our current state of existence, cannot do the same thing, unless they are fawned over by hordes of women. Most men basically do not have this power to an Nth degree, and more and more men not only realize that women have this gatekeeper advantage and the possible hypocrisies it might entail. If women were, as UB suggested, objectifying men in this fashion in the inverse---men could use more primal sexual power to their own personal gain. It doesn't work as easily as women's. And when pointing this out, I hear, "oh, that's the way it is, just deal with it."

As far as objectifying men, it's been going on for ages, indeed, LL, but it's of more impact. How many men here have expressed their desire that they don't care about their partner's career as much as they are employed, make concessions about looks as long as they are fit and healthy, and don't mind quirks and foibles as long as these women aren't mentally unstable? A hell of a lot of them. But when women state their standards, it appears as a strict laundry list. True, some men are picky, but then again picky men that hold out for the women of their dreams usually wait a long time, or are damned with the label as being "judgmental" if they refuse to date low income single moms or corrupt female wolves-in-sheeps clothing. Perhaps, there is a truth in how women date men to approve their situation, and men are supposed to date women to, well, approve women's situations again. How men fair in that dynamic is a matter of risk, and often serious.

Personally, I know women that would pick apart the fact men wear generic shoes or drive a used compact auto to work. He has the wrong hair cut or appearance, even if not outrageous, he's just not as hip or attractive. I've pretty much got the physique part down (and I'm not kidding when I say this, but I'm fairly along the lines of what UB is looking for in that department), but as much as she usually is more progressive, it's surprising how many women fall back on traditionalist or sociobiological modes of being when it suits them, and feminist basics when it comes to next aspect (hence the phrase equality when the paychecks are distributed, but chivalry when the bills roll in).

This is where her argument isn't complete and only applies to women with her particular brands of viewpoint---a more of tat for it relationship holds more merit to myself (like her), but in the process of objectifying men, women will often resort to hypergamy and cognitive dissonance to rationalize and iron out any personal inequalities men face. If women were objectifying men directly, there would be far less confusion and everyone would know where they stand, even if stranded by the wayside. For example, if I was garnering attention from women, superficially speaking, equivalent to myself, she would be in great shape, have a interest in many subjects, frugal with money, no children, roughly my age, above-average in being proactive in her life, with no serous mental or physical ailments. This isn't happening, and more than myself are experiencing this.

Generally speaking, in a UB world where the sexes played fair and sex would not be used in deceptive matters or as a bargaining chip (and withdrawal of affection) a true exchange would not be perfect. But far better than the sins of omission or hollow promises that people commit in order to gain the upper hand.



A "wallet" is not a man, nor are we walking ATM machines. Curious how women view men as men, before human beings.

A Different Take on Sensitve Men and "Fragile" Men Egos

Recently, I wrote this in response on another forum to some gal who dubbed herself as 'funnygirl.' It pretty much explains itself.


What funnygirl probably won't admit, is that women's egos are easily just as disrupted. I work in a profession that has a slightly more amount of women than men, and there has been a plethora of women who are hypersensitive to issues they often take men to take for, and we're supposed to accept it. It could be anything from diet and weight, to career options/roles, to sexual choices and religion. Politics, too.

There are women that constantly place men on the defense, in catch-22 situations, and openly use personal attracts in order to gain a reaction, prove something that may not be normally factual 24/7 about a man, or obtain and upper hand in an argument based on "emotional truths" rather than seeing the global picture.

If a man did the same, he'd be accused of emotional abuse.

Eventually, the more you send barbs and personal jabs against a man, eventually, he'll probably give you a negative response one way or another. But you gained his attention, didn't you? I suspect funnygirl28 fell for the idea that she can treat men as emotional and sexual inferiors, and when men protest or become defensive, they are either assholes or exhibiting a "fraile male ego" of sorts.

You kick someone around long enough, no matter how seemingly passive, they will kick back. Hard.

It's curious that some women just refuse to understand this basic truth concerning most men. Most men put up with so much stress and bullshit, if they opened their eyes to even the daily effrontery that goes along with their workloads and responsibility they carried on their shoulders, I'm honestly not sure if they could handle it. And on top of that notion, men still must prove themselves and gain respect from women, some (more than you think) of whom play games, give off mixed cues, and favor one type of men that's not good for them while shitting on another they believe can "take it." Female players may not always sleep with a legion of men, but they are still players even if they don't see it in themselves.

This is the secret behind the desire to find a "sensitive man;" what that particular woman really means is she wants someone who is strong and traditional for her when she breaks down, but also listening to her wants and desires when using him for a counselor figure. When his insecurities or weaknesses crop up, they are generally meet with apprehension or scorn, and I've even seen women outright blast them to the point of violence; it probably goes without saying that funnygirl doesn't want to deal with emotionally deep men. That would mean she would have to treat a man as true equal, a human being in totality, and it's something she positively doesn't want.

Truly sensitive men who protest their treatment in a relationship, who don't put up with being an emotional punching bag are attractive to women for the same way they are eventually replaced or shunned; they are complicated and don't fall in the idiotic matrix of the nice guy-bad boy continuum. They are "fragile" because they can only accept so much abuse. There are women that enjoy the passion and drama it might bring, but eventually settle with a semi-stoic man that they can complain about to their friends and peers about how their emotional needs aren't met, all the while still "stuck" in a dull relationship that they seem to have created, anyway.

Single By Choice

Unfortunately, I'm running on sleep deprivation and a little Southern Comfort to calm my nerves, but suffice to say, well, I haven't run out of things to say . . . heh . . . and one the things I want to touch upon is single men.

Of course, single men, especially long term men, are often considered second rate, objects of mockery, even losers and pariahs by so-called independent women who feel no hesitance to bash men and fixate on them. And despite their "liberated" condition, these particular women can't seem to stop talking about us, and living their too-busy lives worrying whether or not prince charming will show up at their doorstep with movie star good looks, and a bag of credit cards to boot.

As much I as I liked some female attention the past, I find as a grow older, that it's not what's cracked up to be if you have to deal with the ever present heavy duty baggage surrounding the bargain.. And with all the anti-male bias in the media and laws place on us, there's something else to consider:

I am still baffled at all the women who seem to expect men to live on a steady diet of hatred and man bashing, and somehow magically metabolize this toxic diet into "love" for women and a desire to see good things come to them. When I work real hard, I can make the anger cold and take no joy when bad things happen to women, simply regard it with indifference. When I hear a woman whine about being victimized, I simply tune her out and go elsewhere. ----Zenpriest

With all the bluff and bluster American women give off, it's curious that they rarely acknowledge that their attitudes and mistreatment towards men and their questionable characters may contribute to why men are so reluctant to get involved, whether it's dating up to marriage and children. True, some men will never learn; fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. But I can't bring myself to hate them, but sometimes, rest and retreat from them has brought peace of mind rather than loneliness and depression. After all the times of hearing, "maybe YOU should look inside yourself to see what's wrong and why you have issues," isn't it interesting that they might afraid of doing he same thing?

Added More Important Links

The following has been added because I enjoyed their content and feel so much is very significant, even if we disagree a bit on the minor details, I'm all for the spirit of spreading the word and continuing to shed light on the subjects that have been far overlooked and neglected. I appreciate all the time and effort the men and women have been putting into there own forums, but without further ado, here's a few more---enjoy:

Exposing Feminism

Being Feminine

End of the Road

Origins of Inequality

Equal But Different

Faustus' Lair

Just Another Disenfranchised Father


Past links are being updated. Again, please peruse the blogs/sites if you haven't, and if you're familiar with them, there will be more to come, I assure you..

C.

Removing the Debris

I will make this post short---even MRAs will disagree with me on this stance, of which I have respected. But I'm going to do it, anyway, since I'm not against preemptive strikes. I'm sure gender feminists thought was a "bitter nice guy" and bought into that internet stereotype. You are vastly incorrect---I'm a man that puts up with no shit in my sphere. This is the lions' den, and I am the master of the beasts.

Any feminist who comments here will have to resort to curtailing any argumentum ad hominem style fronts or personal attacks. You are only allowed to respond if I desire. It's harsh, even to many of the men who are critical of feminist polemic and myths. But for the gender feminists who still hold their precious notions of how white, young, middle to upper class women are so downtrodden as opposed to us men and feel a masochistic need to blither away, go elsewhere. The scathing comments will be deleted without fanfare---you are not looking for an honest debate, but a personal battle. You will not find that at all. The possibility of being banned permanently is always looming. Do not commit the above error or you are gone. End of discussion. Expression on this blog is earned through merit, and nothing else.


This is my one and only warning on this post, until I get around to a troll rules of sorts.

SR is Back with the Hammer of Thor

I often get some flak from those who believe I'm too cynical and critical of women's behavior. Well, I've never made it secret that I realize that not every woman is copy cat of each other, what is troubling is that so many women are similar to what I describe, with the inner workings. I understand also, while women are women, that cultural factors aren't exempt from determination or manifestation of character. They make choices. And often bad ones. I don't say, "but there are exceptions" as a disclaimer to prevent my detractors from branding me as a misogynist. They usually will, anyway, and while there are women taking other women to task for their greed, slutdom, lunacy, and irresponsibility, I'm not becoming all flowers and light simply because the latter exist. They are not traitors to their gender, but exposing the fact that the Empress Wears No Clothes, and unfortunately, women's word is still given more credibility than men's. Because, ya know, you're sexist even if you point out bad girl behavior. Or something like that.

Here's something I wrote on a private forum that I believe bears merit.

The idea that men "think with their dicks" is a true self-projection from women if there was one. Women's intrinsic power comes from their generative force, giving birth, and their hormonal landscape is one cell of imprisonment they can't escape, at least until after menopause. This is one reason why reproductive choice is a crucial feature of feminists and feminism as well as traditional women; it is the one trump card in dealings with Western men; all but the most blocked-headed of women who somehow know this on some level, and will never completely yield or submit this power to men.

This is also why women often withdraw their own sexual desire for men---to admit they have a primal attraction to give pleasure to men is designated by modern women as a sign of weakness, and by doing the former, women lead men on to "prove" themselves, i.e. exploit them. This is why "pure" slutdom is considered bad and done behind closed doors, indirect forms of prostitution---although we dare not call them whores, which would be calling a spade a spade, is "good" as long as nobody states the obvious and sugarcoats it.

The notion that women are more moral than men is complete and utter rubbish. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to women in the past---when I actually bothered---talk about their kids, their clothes, their boobs, their asses, the kinds of sex they've had, diets, hairstyles, their sex life/adventures, their husbands and boyfriends (often described in sitcom and bumbling terms), their boobs, their asses, their purses, their clothes, their boobs . . .

-Look at the self-"improvement" books out there for women.
-Glance over the diet and fashion magazines tailor made for women, and the repeated subjects therein.
-Witness their behavior in clubs and the meat market.

See a pattern here?

Yet women, presently, fight ever against themselves, each other, and men in order to appear as "strong and independent womyn" by flashing their sexuality for the world to see and play childish (and potentially dangerous, to sociopaths who've caught that attention) of hide n' go seek---by placing an arbitrary dilemma of sorts out on the table, only a few select men can breach the gap unscathed---those 20% of men who have little problems with women flocking to them. If the "wrong" man approaches their amped up desire to attract men (which has been embellished because women's personalities, in the inverse, have become more toxic) they get mocked, derided among friends, rejected, or worse, pressed with charges of harassment, stalking and assault.

The distinction of the prideful slut and the hypocritical slut is one of a myriad of reasons why my trust for women generally has bottomed out. A woman who wears many masks and uses her sexuality to manipulate, bargain, punish, and castigate while advertising her wares and assets doesn't have honor on any level whatsoever. My rule of thumb with women, without having to list a medium-sized catalog of red flags is fundamental: if you can't trust a woman with sex, you cannot trust her with anything. Her sexuality is a continuum in the parameters (or lack of) in her life; it permeates everything.

American women, in their lie to deceive themselves to escape nature, even their own, cannot master nature because they deny their own affliction with Pagan earth. By emitting sexual noise that is deafening to men and then penalizing men's desire by giving off hollow signals, they draw long term alienation and resentment from the only men that could elevate them from their self-imposed dichotomies.


And, as much as New Age/feminist minded groups will claim otherwise, it has been pretty much men and their inventions and support of technological life and advances that has raised us out of living in those "grass huts" controversial writer and professor Camile Paglia as been quoted about, perhaps one of the few truly honest and brazen thinking "anti-feminist" feminist out there.

David's Bachelor Guide

I've linked to Dave's myspace page here, but for those wishing to either get some solid grounding for dealing with women, if you still are actively doing so and not shunning them for all the misery they may caused you in every capacity, here it is. I realize there exists some exceptions, but for the most part it's a good list to re-acquaint yourself with on occasion. If it mimics Tom Leykis a bit, that's not a bad thing---oddly enough, I echoed some of Tom's sentiments myself before I knew who he was in the beginning.

Here it goes, enjoy!


ok guys i made a decent sized list of things men should follow to live the bachelor life effectively, it isnt totally complete or perfected yet but here is a list i compiled check it out and tell me what you think

1.Never pay more then 20 bucks on a first date, ideally 15 or less
2.Don’t date, live with or marry a single moms
3.If a jumpoff gets knocked up and extorts you for child support leave the country
4.Always wear protection and get a vasectomy if you can
5.Never marry
6.Never buy a woman diamond rings or any jewelry or gifts, if you do make damn sure she will give you the cash equivalent of what you spent on her. Ideally be a cheapskate use coupons on dinners, drinks, small gifts, etc
7.Don’t deal with femnazis
8.Flush condoms down the toilet every time
9.Use a condom everytime
10.Don’t move in with or have a woman move in with you, no cohabitation , if you have to get a cohabitation agreement
11.If you meet up with a bootycall make sure you are going to get laid
12.Internet jumpoffs you want to meet asap, if need be meet them once to see if they are who they are and are attractive to you, etc and then bang them the next meeting, no questions asked.
13.Don’t have kids
14.Never let a woman or anyone have access to your money, keys to your place or your personal belongings
15.Invite females to your place only as guests , don’t have them stay over for any length of time
16.Don’t give up who you are or what you want to do for a female
17.Give your number to as many females as possible and have them call you when you want them to, get their number as well
18.Be confident, bold and upfront with women, don’t listen to what they say they like, boldness and assertiveness turns them on, being an asshole helps as well
19.Don’t date or try to hookup with a coworker or a woman at your college, big legal nightmares trust me
20.Don’t date seriously until you are where you want to be professionally, financially and mentally
21.Advise your friends about the bachelor life
22.Don’t let a woman feminize anything about you or your belongings, many women try to see if they can change or pussy whip a guy. Never change for her, be who you are
23.Always work to better and improve yourself, financially and education wise, the more money and power you have the more likely you will attract hotter women, but don’t throw your money at them.
24.Avoid psycho women and females with criminal records , especially watch out for women who have been charged with abuse or have abused guys before
25.Go for the chicks that will give it up the easiest, multiple tats, piercings, slutty clothing, etc are some good signs as well as ones with low self esteem or need for attention
26.Be careful of beautiful women that approach you and seem very interested in you right away, usually they have ulterior motives, many times they want something from you, money , favors, etc just say no to them.
27.Watch out for women with lots of emotional baggage they may look at you to try to save them, don’t do it, just bang them
28.Steer clear of gold diggers and entitled selfish women
29.Set up a black book for your booty call list
30.Avoid women who are drunk , if you sleep with them they may accuse you of rape, same as women who change their minds in the middle of sex, just get up and leave
31.Avoid women who want to just “talk& get to know you” you aren’t there for that you are there to get laid, make it clear to them
32.If you date a woman make sure they pay their half of the dating expenses at all times
33.Avoid married women their husbands may try to kill you, etc mess with single women only, and if they have boyfriends get their number anyways and call them every 6 months or so to see if they are single
34.Never allow a woman or anyone to disrespect you in any way always call them out on their crap, women like to test men but get turned on when they are called out on their BS
35.Be mysterious don’t let women know everything about you, the more they know they more they can hurt you, use your and exploit you. Don’t let that happen.
36.Don’t give her access to anything you have, don’t let a lot of women or any female know where you live or your home number, many psycho women have done horrible things to men and their belongings just because they can. Give them your cell phone number only.
37.Don’t talk all day long to women you have to be more of a challenge, say as little as possible, and give as little of effort to get laid, try to get it in the least amount of time as possible. Women know if they want to sleep with a guy very quickly the more you wait the less likely you will get it.