Sunday, September 9, 2007

David's Bachelor Guide

I've linked to Dave's myspace page here, but for those wishing to either get some solid grounding for dealing with women, if you still are actively doing so and not shunning them for all the misery they may caused you in every capacity, here it is. I realize there exists some exceptions, but for the most part it's a good list to re-acquaint yourself with on occasion. If it mimics Tom Leykis a bit, that's not a bad thing---oddly enough, I echoed some of Tom's sentiments myself before I knew who he was in the beginning.

Here it goes, enjoy!

ok guys i made a decent sized list of things men should follow to live the bachelor life effectively, it isnt totally complete or perfected yet but here is a list i compiled check it out and tell me what you think

1.Never pay more then 20 bucks on a first date, ideally 15 or less
2.Don’t date, live with or marry a single moms
3.If a jumpoff gets knocked up and extorts you for child support leave the country
4.Always wear protection and get a vasectomy if you can
5.Never marry
6.Never buy a woman diamond rings or any jewelry or gifts, if you do make damn sure she will give you the cash equivalent of what you spent on her. Ideally be a cheapskate use coupons on dinners, drinks, small gifts, etc
7.Don’t deal with femnazis
8.Flush condoms down the toilet every time
9.Use a condom everytime
10.Don’t move in with or have a woman move in with you, no cohabitation , if you have to get a cohabitation agreement
11.If you meet up with a bootycall make sure you are going to get laid
12.Internet jumpoffs you want to meet asap, if need be meet them once to see if they are who they are and are attractive to you, etc and then bang them the next meeting, no questions asked.
13.Don’t have kids
14.Never let a woman or anyone have access to your money, keys to your place or your personal belongings
15.Invite females to your place only as guests , don’t have them stay over for any length of time
16.Don’t give up who you are or what you want to do for a female
17.Give your number to as many females as possible and have them call you when you want them to, get their number as well
18.Be confident, bold and upfront with women, don’t listen to what they say they like, boldness and assertiveness turns them on, being an asshole helps as well
19.Don’t date or try to hookup with a coworker or a woman at your college, big legal nightmares trust me
20.Don’t date seriously until you are where you want to be professionally, financially and mentally
21.Advise your friends about the bachelor life
22.Don’t let a woman feminize anything about you or your belongings, many women try to see if they can change or pussy whip a guy. Never change for her, be who you are
23.Always work to better and improve yourself, financially and education wise, the more money and power you have the more likely you will attract hotter women, but don’t throw your money at them.
24.Avoid psycho women and females with criminal records , especially watch out for women who have been charged with abuse or have abused guys before
25.Go for the chicks that will give it up the easiest, multiple tats, piercings, slutty clothing, etc are some good signs as well as ones with low self esteem or need for attention
26.Be careful of beautiful women that approach you and seem very interested in you right away, usually they have ulterior motives, many times they want something from you, money , favors, etc just say no to them.
27.Watch out for women with lots of emotional baggage they may look at you to try to save them, don’t do it, just bang them
28.Steer clear of gold diggers and entitled selfish women
29.Set up a black book for your booty call list
30.Avoid women who are drunk , if you sleep with them they may accuse you of rape, same as women who change their minds in the middle of sex, just get up and leave
31.Avoid women who want to just “talk& get to know you” you aren’t there for that you are there to get laid, make it clear to them
32.If you date a woman make sure they pay their half of the dating expenses at all times
33.Avoid married women their husbands may try to kill you, etc mess with single women only, and if they have boyfriends get their number anyways and call them every 6 months or so to see if they are single
34.Never allow a woman or anyone to disrespect you in any way always call them out on their crap, women like to test men but get turned on when they are called out on their BS
35.Be mysterious don’t let women know everything about you, the more they know they more they can hurt you, use your and exploit you. Don’t let that happen.
36.Don’t give her access to anything you have, don’t let a lot of women or any female know where you live or your home number, many psycho women have done horrible things to men and their belongings just because they can. Give them your cell phone number only.
37.Don’t talk all day long to women you have to be more of a challenge, say as little as possible, and give as little of effort to get laid, try to get it in the least amount of time as possible. Women know if they want to sleep with a guy very quickly the more you wait the less likely you will get it.

No comments: