Living inside your mind
Who knows the things you'll find
There could be hell or rainbows
But it's a funny thing
The more you feel the sting
You're just a leaf that the wind blows
You've been this way before
One step and you're through the door . . .
"Breathless" by Dio
To be honest I didn't know how to approach this at first, other than to say to those born again porn stars who continue to sell themselves and make people feel for you for the almighty dollar is thus: you suck, and not in the way you used to on the job, either.
That's right. I don't buy into your lousy stories of patchwork abuse as well. Bite me.
And fuck off.
Maybe some of them legitimately were. Who knows. Even feminist accounts I have read shift from time to time. Of course, if you challenge that notion of how much they have endured, you're a misogynistic asshole, even if that apparent abuse is used for justification of hating all men and punishing them.
For the record, I feel for those have went through even a moderate amount of abuse of any form in their formative years. I find it troubling, and would never wish such a predicament on anyone innocent. I hope people reading this embittered piece keep that in mind; men, in particular, still don't as much sympathy as women in regards to this matter, and while I would hope neither gender would never have to experience anything as damaging as chronic emotional, sexual, or physical abuse, it still happens, and its long term effects are nothing to dismissed or mocked whatsoever.
But what I don't like are the self-righteous opportunists that use their exploits in erotica as a springboard for still staying in the limelight, to gain sympathy, or even worse, make money off of the gullible. It's parasitical and telling of the hubris of the so-called reformed sex worker.
Chances are high that your dyed blond, artificially enhanced white bread smut shyster has convinced her egocentric self she's devoted to a good cause to help others. Perhaps in some cases, but it others, it's because STDs and addictions are NOT the root cause that would kill her; it's lack of being in front of the camera lens and willing admirers that would send her dead husk blown away faster than a Hammer horror vampire caught in direct sunlight.
Let me also state that I am pretty much Libertarian on matters concerning prostitution, porn, and strippers. What consenting adults decide to do, and the possible transactions involving the activity, should still be their business. After that, it is a moral decision to weigh out for the individual concerning non-violent adult activity.
Keep in mind what I just said above in the aspect about men and women who have chosen another route, and worked and studied hard in order to procure a career. Ex-porn stars, in the past, often about made padded sums of money in a short span of time that skilled workers and those spending long hours in the office never will see in that same allotted time. Yes, several porn stars have had difficult lives of addiction, failed relations, alienation, and broken spirits, but remember, no one held a gun to these skanks' heads.
Since my political position has been made, it isn't a matter of jealousy because of the cash changing hands. It's because becoming an ex-porn star-turned-born again is disingenuous.
I'd rather see someone make terms and acknowledge their fucking and sucking flicks without reservation than lay claim to conversion, no matter how wanton and carnal it had been. I'm quite serious.
I remember watching one aging woman extol her regret and alleged pain on an expose for a rather popular Christian show. Her history was fairly typical, although in further examination of her life (from what I've read about it) there are plot holes of sorts. And in a particular interview, she burst into what was the most pathetic shedding of crocodile tears I've seen in ages. Ugh.
People buy into this stuff, and I don't know what is more disgusting. The pallid display of ersatz guilt and resolution in order to be still in the spotlight, or the outpouring of febrile sympathy that borders on neurosis itself.
In more insult to injury, any sucker that gets romantically involved with an ex-porn starlet has all that baggage to content with, and probably a questionable sex life to begin with. Maybe one can rationalize and gloss over the past. I don't know. I'm no saint myself, but I really can't imagine having a constructive relationship with someone that would have dived into a career of nihilistic hedonism and now expects me to play traditionalist man in a whitewashed household. Fuck that.
Maybe I'm not in the best of moods about this stuff, but when one's eyes are open to the reality of it all---and I'm sure someone will, say, "But, Chris, you've never lived it, so how can you judge?"
My succinct answer can be expressed pretty neatly---is it that hard for you to see these people who they really are, a fake suffering saint to allay your own insecurities with because you actually admire them? I mean, WTF?