Something of Importance from Another Blog

There is a wealth of good posts from bloggers on the 'Net that I enjoy, but I rarely re-post them because my own blog would probably been choked up numerous works. Still, there are times that posts like this should be passed around.

I have to thank Kim at Equal But Different for her true compassion for men and even moving a cynic like myself to promote it, even if she was not satisfied that it was as good as she wanted it. I wish there were more women like you.

And don't worry, it's good enough.


Imagine what must it be like to be a man in today's society.

I want everyone to take the time to ponder that.

What must it be like to be a little boy? An innocent, sweet child....so full of love and joy. Of course, that love and joy must fade into insecurity and self hatred when you go to school and are treated differently because you're a boy, when you're expected to behave differently, better, toward the little girls while they're allowed to treat you any way they choose and you must simply endure it because they are girls and you are a boy.

Imagine what it must be like to be a little boy who's father, his hero, is made to leave the home when Mommy files for divorce. You know that your father is who you're most like, the person you emulate and hope to grow up to be like.....the person Mommy has renamed *sshole, screams at on the phone and says horrible things about to her family and friends.

Imagine what it must be like to be that sweet, innocent boy and to be subjected to a constant stream of negative images and portrayals of men, knowing all the while that a man is precisely what you'll grow up to be.

Imagine what it must be like to be a teenage boy. You go to high school and college and all you see and hear are rape statistics and how boys and men are dangerous predators. The father you sorely need has been alienated from you for many years. He tried and tried but Mom made things as difficult as possible and now your relationship is awkward at best.

Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. All you want is to find that special girl to fall in love with, to marry and to start a family with, but even though you are a nice guy and have always tried to be a good person, every girl you meet assumes the worst of you. You want to fall in love, but you become more and more jaded as every relationship you have is with someone who is shallow, selfish, materialistic and narcissistic.

Imagine what it must be like to be a young man. You enlisted in the military. You did your duty to your country and served with honor. You watched those with whom you served, men you'd come to view as brothers, return home in coffins and sometimes you can't sleep at night because the things you bury away during the day come back to haunt you in your sleep. For your efforts, you have health problems that nobody cares about and hear that whatever happened to you and your brothers was your own fault....because you're men and, afterall, it's violent men who are the ones who start the wars.

Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You've given up on marriage, now that you're older, even if you found someone you wanted to spend your life with, you don't dare. You realize that the family court system is stacked against you and should your marriage not work out, you'll risk losing everything. You've given up on your dream of family and children because you don't want your son to ever go through what you went through. You're not a coward, but you've decided to fore go the joys of fatherhood because you think it will be easier never knowing such love than to know it and have it ripped away from you. For your efforts of self-preservation you are called a loser, a perpetual child; there must be something wrong with you, it just isn't normal.......

Or, perhaps, you did find that special someone and you decided it was worth the risk. You got married, you had children. You worked hard to provide the very best for your children. You wanted to spend as much time as possible with your family, but work requirements kept you away from home more than you liked. You told yourself it was o.k., a sacrifice you were willing to make in order to provide for your family. You wanted to give them all the things they told you they wanted and needed.....and then one day, your wife tells you she isn't happy, you work too much, you're always gone, you're not taking care of her emotional needs. All too quickly divorce papers are filed and since, according to the judge, you were not very involved in raising the children, you are relegated to the status of non-custodial parent. You now come home to an empty apartment, no more do you hear cries of 'Daddy' when you walk through the door or get to tuck somebody in at night. You see your kids when your ex-wife allows, when it's convenient for her and as long as you remain in her good graces.

Imagine what it must be like to be a man. You walk down the street, children avoid you and women watch you warily. Although the words are not vocalized, you can see the accusation written clearly in their eyes and on their faces.....rapist, pedophile, abuser. You know that all it takes is an allegation, a few words, and your life can be ruined, simply because you are a man.

Imagine must it be like to be a man.