Don't Date Single Moms. Ever.

I'm going with Tom Leykis on this one.

For most single men, there are a volume of dating problems facing us if we decided to actually bother to date American women at all. Which over the years, considering the sexual, social, personal, and even legal minefield, it's understandable if men grow cynical about dating. It sucks.

I realize that I'm emulating a lot of what MGTOWers have already covered ground with considering single moms, but after only one LTR I learned my lesson. Never again. It's been over five years. Thankfully.

Some men never seem to grasp that it's not in their best interest---but since our current feminized culture doesn't particularly care what is it men's best interests, many men have been instilled with the idea they are not useful unless they are pandering to women's whims---which is patently false, but it's one of the more damaging lies that men are exposed to.

Barring accident or horrendous disease---widowers---or single moms that are that way because of some other rare occurence, it's usually the result of piss poor decision making. It could be sexual licentiousness, seeking out bad boys to tame, trying to get pregnant to "have something to love" because of the lack of affection in their lives . . . up to risking pregnancy by not employing contraceptives and being irresponsible.

Of course, that's "sexist" in many of the feminist-minded---expecting women to be sexually responsible as men, but we'll move on for now.

Simply put, most single mothers don't feel bound by men who are playing surrogate father to their children---offspring that they have sired from someone else. There's always a possibility that the father still will be involved, and if the split was amicable or not, that's something to contend with. At brass tacks, you are still a provider, one in which whatever contributions you make isn't valued enough.

Sex? Many men don't receive the affection they'd like, simply because honey is too exhausted from juggling work, kids, and who knows what else. This includes addictions they are nursing after binging. And usually single moms are in financial stress to even dire straits. They bitch about not having enough CS from their ex-spouse or any at all, yet with their own spending habits usually aren't disciplined, always in debt or having nothing to show for it at the end of the month.

Make no mistake about it---if you decide to date a single mom, there are compromises that you are going to make that are far more of a price if you had simply dated someone else that was childless. Whether or not they admit it, single moms view men that date them as a meal ticket and a means to an end to their lifestyle, and when the shit hits the fan, not obligated to you if you are not there for the children (which is often what they state in order to comfort and accommodate themselves with their own whims---it is often a mask for their own selfishness).

The non-biological parent is expendable to the single mom if the kids end up liking you and she ends up hating you. If the kids don't like you or never get attached despite their tolerance of you---you are still not their real father, no matter how bad he was (or how bad SHE paints him, which is fairly common), it still won't last. Most reconstituted families don't go through adversity very well, and at the nadir you if you don't hold up the threads of the relationship, you are shown the door. You will never be completely viewed as an equal partner, but an on-call babysitter.

And if she even claims to have an abusive past---made up or for real---perhaps it's best to move on. You don't want her to make you pay for her ex's sins or replay what she knows as a "loving" relationship.

Avoiding that type of hollow relationship is the best thing you can do. Deep down, despite education and even possible success in the workplace, the lurking fear that they, single moms, are failures at a marriage or haven't made the best of choices for life-altering decisions that have left them embittered and even angry at men. Still don't believe me? Read the amount of barbs single moms have against men---the younger ones are volatile, the older ones take up the mantle of feminist causes---even to the point of fighting tooth and nail that women get screwed over in the mythic pay gap, to arguing that alimony should be a women's right, and not a gift.

And the of the darkest secrets, if that's the word, that single moms use their condition as a rationalization to be selfish about the things they do in daily life. We don't want to talk about. Women don't want others to face it. They don't want to take the time for self-exploration to accept it. "It's all for the children" becomes a sad cover for pettiness, bad money habits, addictions, and control-mongering. They will lash out if you dare state their place their own needs above their kids, but it does actually happen in many cases---look at how many children suffer neglect because of a mother that still wants her cake and eat it, too. And if that's true, how in the world are they going to fulfill yours?

The last word of warning I have is this---if they treat their peers, friends, and pets better than you, why bother in the first place?