Friday, March 21, 2014
Many years ago my own sister went through a series of pretty rocky relationships, a near fatal overuse of both prescription and illegal drugs, and eventually married an man that was her rough equivalent---they were both emotionally and physically abusive. While that marrage would not last and eventually she would evolve into someone that would much different from the addictive and moody young woman she was, her past lifestyle could have ruined or even killed her.
Looking back, I always wondered why she had engaged in such reckless, antagonistic, and foolish behavior. And why she even did it the first place. What the hell was wrong with her? People generally liked her when was growing up, and she certainly didn't face the problems I did.
It would be easy to chalk it up to low self esteem, but it doesn't solve the puzzle. On occasion, she would blame it on the idea that she had been someone raised to garner favor with others and place her needs on the backseat. That doesn't illuminate much. If anything, her forays into a descent with mindless hedonism and petty associations were often done as if in defiance of anything and everything, including what was good for herself.
Even more troubling was that she lashed out to those who cared about her and would help her, even to the point where I was going to completely give up. When she believed I would withdrawal completely, it was a surprise. There was always someone could rely on for support.
There was a period where she finally pushed me too far, and I thought that not even a modicum of understanding and care was present in her left, but I had to be the unconditional crutch in a way. Her hypocrisy made me furious.
Losing her brother---perhaps forever---was unthinkable, and her behavior didn't always get better until she truly realized it may have been for good.
Yeah, that's how bad it got.
One might think her transformation from her past self to now was remarkable, but it took many years for her to become someone successful in some fashion, healthy again, and deeply motivated to improve on herself and her world.
In my youth, it would puzzle me why so many women would go through such a hellish gauntlet. For the longest time, very few every questioned if it was women themselves that were ultimately making piss poor choices in life, and not their final responsibility for bad judgment and decision making.
We've heard the feminist narrative a thousand times. It's misogyny in our culture. Patriachy. Oppression of women. Ad nauseam.
And if you are feminist or not, the convienent scapegoat for your problems can always be men.
For example look at the ones lamenting that there are not enough "alphas" out there for marital bliss. They will explain all the good men are taken. This is to mask their own failures at obtain a decent man, or their own insecuries and shortcomings. Or for having sex and dating men that are toxic to them. Or pushing good men away and treating them like dog shit. That's to insure it is not their fault, feel smug and self-righteous even if they know inwardly, there's a chance it just might be their own doing.
God forbid they are the ones being rejected, and that they would have to be forced to look into the mirror with a hard gaze at who the problem really is.
Even the women at the bottom---regardless of how much self-loathing they possess---still act as if they have some innate value because they are women. And men have to measure up no matter what. What women generally damn and peg as "average Joes" have to struggle endlessly to date and mate in the sexual arena . . . even though those same men would make suitable boyfriends, husbands, and fathers.
There's even quite a few people in the manosphere that will shift the blame entirely on men; "You weren't man enough" they will sneer, even though much of the bulk of Western society has become rigged against men so badly one must wonder why men bother with defending cultural norms and institutions to begin with---much less try to garner favor with women beyond obtaining sex.
My sister happend to pull herself out of her self-destructiveness and even made amends (if painfully slow) with me and my parents.
Note that if I was willing to sever ties permanently with a blood relative forever, imagine how American women who would try to pull Ameriskank behavior would fare.
Not very long.
And there are more men like me out there as we speak.
Not every woman recreates herself. Instead, what we have is a vast wasteland of women who reach a certain age---if they reach that age---who are looking for a beta male provider they can sucker into supporting them in a guilt-ridden manner. And for every woman who actually doesn't ever go through the cycle my sister did and/or becomes successful, charming, health conscious, pretty, and marriage-worthy, we have legions upon legions of broken women littering the US landscape. And while there are white knights and mangina who might still date them, the number of men questioning the evolutionary and societal dynamic between the sexes are growing.
And we are sick of the raw deal we have had from day one. Eventually, things will have to change.
I do think women are quite capable of waking up to the fact they have not only ruined the underlying compact between the sexes, but they have become their own worst enemy in the process. If they are willing to do so is another question entirely. And it typically comes with a hefty price, and sometimes that reflection in the mirror is almost too mortifying to behold. But if that's what it takes, so be it.